I just got back from the future and I brought back a really terrible type of head lice. It seems that in the future because of global warming there are only two species of creatures left. One is completely hairless humans and the other is a really super strain of head lice.
The thing about this super form of head lice is that it is said they come from outer space. It seems that an advance race of rat type creatures inadvertently brought this type of lice to earth and they quickly took over the entire planet. In order to survive, human men became completely bald and lost even the hair on their hidden areas. Females had to shave themselves in order to avoid the lice. Hairy men who played country music were the first ones to be deleted from the human gnome by the lice epidemic. In terms of genetics and the future, the alien head lice epidemic determined that when it comes to being human, the male country singer was the weakest link.
Of course I did not mean to bring these lice back from the future but, I happened to fall in love with a beautiful brunet in the future and she gave me head lice. After all, I don’t want to have head lice in the future , past or present. So, in order to get rid of head lice I went outside and rubbed my entire body on a burn barrel. The head lice are now gone however, I spread those same lice all over town by swimming in a communal bath at the YMCA. It seems that head lice from the future are extremely good swimmers.