I hate being here on Earth again. It is such a stinky planet and we rats are not use to such disgusting smells on my home world. And, what I really hate is that everywhere you step you get human excrement all over your feet. It seems that all humans do is mate, eat and drop massive amounts of excrement all over the planet. I don’t understand why humans can’t learn how to use a toilet or at least bury their defecation's like all other creatures in the multi-verse. In short, humans are the stupidest, dirtiest, stickiest creatures I have ever encountered anywhere and what’s more, humans leave behind them such massive piles of excrement that even the giant lizards of the Jurassic times could never dream of leaving such squishy piles behind themselves.
I am now requesting in this report that Central Command send some anti-bacterial cream that I can use on my feet to get rid of the nasty fungus that I have developed because of having to walk through so much human excrement. For if Central Command wants me to stay here on Earth and aid in the liberation of our brethren rats from the dominate species called humans then, I really need to stop the all night itching on my feet that is caused by my having to walk through human excrement all day. Their bacteria laden feces has made this the most horrible interplanetary assignment I have ever had over the last thousand years that I have been in government service.
There is of course one creature here on earth that could be a real recreational boon back on the home world. That creature is the elephant. Just the other day I observed some of our distant cousins on earth called "mice" running up into an elephant's trunk and that made the elephant creature fling his trunk wildly around through the air. Well, when he was done thrashing about the little mice ran out of his truck laughing hysterically evidently, because of the wild ride they had just taken. So, I myself ran up into the elephant's trunk and sure enough the ride was fantastic. After I ran out of the trunk I decided then and there that I had to get one for the kids back home. They will be surprised at the great ride dear old dad is sending them though the worm hole. I just hope that my rat brethren can be soon liberated from the forces of evil, namely humans then, I'll be able to return home and be with my family once again.
RAT EARTH COMMANDER CODE NAME SHIVA