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Thursday, July 21, 2011


By Gerrard
Well, I guess NASA has had some major cuts in funding. After the space station missions are over, all space missions will be cancelled. NASA will soon be privatized and become a pyrotechnics (fireworks) company.

In the meantime, China, Japan and India (the CHIJAPIN Group), are partnering to launch their new Subaru Land Rover to Mars. By 2016 there will be an estimated 1,000,000 Subaru vehicles on Mars. The CHIJAPIN Group hopes to hire NASA to orchestrate a massive fireworks display when the millionth Subaru lands on Mars. The European Union also hopes to begin landing vehicles on Mars but, they can’t decide if they should eat crumpets, sausages, pasta or cheese during their two hour lunch breaks they will no doubt take while on the red planet. Russia will not be competing for real estate on Mars. Russia is instead building space portals in all their major cities so that every Russian citizen will have the opportunity to travel to other galaxies free of charge. The Swiss are of course, building time travel machines. I guess once you are a clock maker you will always be a clock maker.One thing that we Americans are good at is making fireworks. That's a technology that we invented and nobody does it better.

Personally, I love setting off fireworks in Michigan that I buy in other states. The good fireworks are all illegal in Michigan. The one problem that I have with setting off the fireworks is that for some strange reason the instructions are all in Chinese. I guess we write the instructions in Chinese because we export a lot of fireworks to the Chinese mainland.

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