By Tim Colin
I have just returned in my time traveling 1974 AMC Matador from the year 2012. Boy is things a real mess up there. Riots, revolts and shortages of every kind are pervasive. There are three wars going on in the mid-west over cheese curl distribution rights. There is a civil war in Northern Michigan over whether having a toad urinate on you will give you warts. A lot of people in Northern Michigan keep toads as pets so the toad urine causing warts debate has become a liability dispute. This dispute has completely tied up all the court not only in Michigan but, it has gone all the way to the Supreme Court of the United States.
The above disputes are just some of the problems that have torn many nations apart and have brought civilization to its knees. Obviously there is little hope in the year 2012. World governments are all falling apart and no one will take any form of currency except for the newly introduced international currency known as the "Doom Dollar".
The "Doom Dollar" is a 1 oz. Metallic like coin that is sort of gold colored. The coin has no actual gold or any metal in it but is instead made up of a combination of compressed cardboard and used baby diapers hence; there is an organic component to the coin. In the "New World Order of 2012" there are only two types of people: those who have doom dollars and those who desperately want doom dollars. In the year 2012 anyone would do anything for a doom dollar. I was able to bring one back with me but I will not tell you what I had to sell to get it. The stitches should come out in a few weeks. I just hope that the people that bought what I was selling were right when they told me that I had two of them and could get by with just one.
I will be assembling a team of the best minds I can find to figure out a way to purchase "Doom Dollars" in the future and then bring them back to this time and sell them. My mind for marketing tells me that the price I will get for the doom dollar is $19.99. This would be in line with what non-government minted coins are selling for. Of course the government that will mint the "Doom Dollar" exists in the future and does not exist now or, does it? Maybe it is forming inside a hollowed out mountain somewhere.
Perhaps it is Mt. Double Bubble; the tallest mountain in Michigan. Further investigation is obviously required. Of course if I become rich by bringing back doom dollars from 2012 and selling them today then, the only thing I'll be investigating will be climate change in the Caribbean.
THE RISE AND FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE IN 2,100 WORDS OR LESS - *A COMPLETE HISTORY OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE* *FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF MANCELONA MICHIGAN * *BY PROFESSORS: BIGELOW LINCOLN ISA AND RODERICK STANTONBERG* *CHAPTER...
4 years ago