SPACE ALIENS RULE

SPACE ALIENS RULE
By Tim Collin
It has come to our attention at this organization that many people blogging on the Internet have found evidence that the President of the United States was born a space alien. To be precise, the blogers maintain that the President was born somewhere in the Milky Way Galaxy.

I decided to confirm the origins of the President by going out on the streets of the city to see if I could find anyone who could confirm the story on the blogosphere. You can’t believe everything you read on the Internet. Many things found on the Internet are reported by people who have no knowledge of the topic they are covering. Therefore, in order to get to the bottom of the story I like to go out and ask people on the street what they believe.

It was a dark and lonely night when I went out on the town and asked people if they believed that the President of the United States was a space alien. Most of the people just smiled at me, the kind of smile people have when they just secretly passed gas. A couple of people seemed angry when I asked them the question. Clearly these annoyed individuals were space aliens themselves and were afraid I had found them out. Finally, I found a man that was more than willing to give me an extensive interview about aliens running our nation.

The man said his name was Fred. I figured Fred knew about space aliens since he was staggering from lamp post to lamp post like Fred had just been dropped off by a space ship and was having trouble adjusting to our gravity. Fred confirmed his abduction when he stated that he had no idea what had happened to him over the previous twenty four hours, forty eight hours, two weeks or, thirty years.

“The aliens are all over and you just don’t know when they will pick you up and take you to Miami.” Fred exclaimed “It seems like whenever it starts getting cold up here I end up being kidnapped and wake up in some homeless shelter in Miami. My ex-wife is a space alien. You know she was president of the United States once. Of course I was top her general. Yeah I’m pretty sure Reagan is a space alien. I voted for him last year. Now that I know that he’s not from here I won’t vote for Reagan next year. Those space aliens are all over. Why don’t they just all go back to Texas? I visited that planet once and went to jail. They said I was drunk and disorderly. I don’t even drink that much. I did admit to the officer that I had a problem with alcohol. My problem was I could not afford to buy the amount I needed to get me thought the night. “ . “

The insights Fred had definitely shed light on the problems we are having with aliens taking over America. I think my family members might be space aliens. I’m not sure when the aliens changed bodies with my brothers and parents. I’m thinking it was when I turned sixteen. It seems not one of them understood me then. At any rate, I’m keeping my eye on everyone.